The Long Haul

let me talk for a minute about being straight edge. its not something i do very often.

when i was 13 years old, i watched my dad suffer and die from pancreatic cancer. it was easily the hardest thing i've ever had to endure in my life. i wondered every day why that was happening to him, and after a little research i realized it wasn't God torturing him, it was his lifestyle choices that brought him to that point. my father liked to drink. alot. so on the morning of september 13th, 2001 when my father died, i decided i would never ever drink again.

I usually dont talk openly about why i am straight edge, but that is the primary reason. after that day, i started to see the world in a whole new aspect. i was still a young teenager, but i could see a shift in how people we starting to have their fun. and i also started to see a shift in the number of friends i had. In high school i spent many friday and saturday nights alone watching cartoons, and wondering what all the other kids did at this time. i realized it was to drive their trucks into the woods, and sit around a fire and get drunk. and id hear the horror stories of how somebody got hurt, or who hooked up with who, and how they'd never drink again... until next friday.

i was lucky enough to have a small handful of friends that felt the same as me about the general public. and we were obviously different, and we made sure that we let everyone know. with green hair, studded jean vests, plaid pants and pad lock necklaces. we were the punks. and we fit the definition of one. we didnt fit into the norm, and often tried to disrupt other peoples fun. we've all grown up now, and have gone in many different directions, some have sold out, and others remain straight edge. but thats the way it goes. to some people its just a phase.

im 21 years old now, and this has been one of the toughest years for me to be straight edge. NOT going to the bar on my birthday got me alot of weird looks. and that brings me to my point... why the fuck is drinking the standard to have fun? the way i see it, if you cant have a good time without a substance, you obviously dont have any substance of your own. you suck, and you need alcohol to make you feel cooler. i honestly could go on for days about this, but i'll spare you the preaching.

straight edge is a conviction. its a life long conviction. or atleast thats how it was meant to be. but you dont have to be straight edge to have convictions on not doing shitty things. some people do it for themselves, a personal conviction without the need for a label. and i honor and respect that. whatever keeps more people away from that garbage is fine from me, and i will always support them.

as for me, this is the path i chose to take. and i will follow it for life. if you have a problem with that, then i want nothing to do with you in my life.