The Road Less Slept Next To

i get side tracked for weeks at a time apparently.


a spent a night in my car this week. not because i had to, but because i love to. there are times when i feel like i am the weirdest person alive for the things i like to do. such as walk 20 miles when i can drive, eat dry ramen noodles, bathe in a creek instead of a shower, listen to am radio, use a duffel bag instead of a dresser. the list goes on and on why i am a complete and total weirdo.

but honestly, i love the way that i am. i dont know if alot of people can say that about themselves, but im glad that i can. its easy to live my life. very very little stress and pressure. i dont worry about alot of bills, i dont cringe at the stock market, and i dont have anyone to impress. its just me, and the silly things i do.

to me, there is nothing better than waking up seaside to the sunrise in the driver seat of a honda civic that ive taken around the country. i feel more alive at that moment than any amusement park ride or world championship victory could ever bring. in the eyes of the world, im an insignificant speck, and i dont mind. that means i can focus on me, and the life i lead rather than the opinion of the world. if you see a homeless man on the street, you would never gauk him for not wearing designer shoes, so why would it make any difference if celebrities did? what im saying is, the life that i lead is going to someday be a bright beautiful painting, even if only i can see the colors.




"Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that." -Norman Vincent Peale

rationally speaking, im an irrational rationalist

today was a surprisingly good day in sharp contrast to yesterday. i did alot of neat things. i need days like this sometimes to keep my head above water, ya know?

sometimes i wonder what it would be like if you could go back and change the decisions you've made in your life. like taking another path. i like to think about where i'd be, and if id be better or worse off than i am now. alot of things i could have done would have greatly improved my situations, im sure. but im happy for the most part about the decisions im made to this point. its gotten me the friends i have, and the experiences i have experienced. ha. but i did blow alot of big chances in my life, and i get bummed sometimes thinking about it. however, screwing choices up has helped me to realize the otential of every oppurtunity, and how i can benefit from it. so i want to live like the Yes man. ive never actually seen that movie, but from my idea of what its about, he says yes to everything, and it brings about some crazy wild experiences. and i want to say yes to crazy wild things.

i hope that i have the discretion to realize what is good for me and what isnt. sometimes though, i like to make bad decisions just to shake things up a bit, and see where my life goes. not the smartest thing im sure, but atleast it makes things a bit more interesting. so if you have a proposition for me, i want to say yes to it!

I should have listened to my friends

if friends were food, id nearly starve to death. in that same metaphor, id say the friends i do have are like my vitamins. they are what i need, and they do me well, but sometimes i still feel hungry. but im too much of a picky eater.

I have a hard time meeting people. i think im secretly too judgemental, or else im afraid of judgement on myself. i just cant relate with many people. its always how its been. its hard to strike up a conversation with many folks since not many people can relate to being dirty, broke, living out of vehicles, having a job that doesnt pay, eating out of the garbage and then actually enjoying all those things. it narrows down the pool of potential friends to a very minimal amout. and then to find girls on top of that? thats a whole nuther story!

So ive learned to spend a great deal of time alone. sometimes its better that way. like when i make stupid decisions, i dont have to drag anyone through them with me. (and i make those alot.) But sometimes being alone sucks. actually alot of the times it does. most things i do would actually be better if someone were there with me.

i guess what im trying to say is... im not an outgoing person, so come be my friend.

A Lesson in self-metamorphisis

Ive tried a thousand times to change who i am and the things that i do. I want to change how i act, talk, treat my friends, walk, eat, brush my teeth, think, make plans, save money, talk to strangers, play music, love.

But to much dismay, it never works the way i want it to. I just gotta swallow hard and accept that this is me forever. But it doesnt mean i still wont try, because my head gets set on a silly idea, and i do everything to follow it.

Why is it that we are never happy with who we are? people go to great lengths to change everything about them and bury what they used to be. And most of the time we are trying to be like someone else. as if being a special beautiful creation of God isnt enough.

I'd like to try to change myself again. To change from trying to be what im not, and just enjoying who i am now. All I can hope is that people will enjoy my company as i am. If not, there are 7 billion other people i can waste my time trying to impress.

Bad Company for the Business Man

We spend our days on our feet, treading to the end of the earth.
A backpack full of freedom not found in stores.
Generic two liters and cold ravioli feed our stomachs while our spirits always crave more.
A hunger that can only be continually fed, but never satisfied.

Because no cubicle could confine our imaginations, and no rule book could tell us our limitations, we dont fit inside the regulations, and i cant even count the number of ciatations... we've recieved just for doing what we do.
We live for months in our cars, get caught up staring at the stars, refuse to have a good time in bars, and wouldnt trade our stories and scars... for any amount of money.

Because a lifetime of memories is worth more than any paycheck.
I'd rather die with a head full of ideas than a pocket full of money.
I didnt meet my best friends in business meetings or cocktail parties,
but in an underground community where we all share the same struggles.
Not just struggles to feed ourselves, but struggles to avoid being manipulated by a society that cares more about an image than ones self worth.
Society that is dictated and oppressed by the power of money.


I'm thankful every day for the people ive chosen to surround myself with. The small handful of you know who you are, and know how much i value your friendship. You keep me from turning into the worthless pile of crap i would be if it werent for you putting silly ideas in my head. But its those silly ideas that burn with passion within me, and id rather be passionate about a seemingly worthless dream than to settle for a 9 to 5 job.


sorry i got so serious,
-tyler

Treetop Agenda

I found out today that I am the most akward person in the world when I'm by myself around people i hardly know. A funeral is a terrible place to learn this. Im sorry for the friends of mine who suffered a loss, but im also sorry for the people who dealt with the akward silence that i gladly provided.

Ive never really been one for conversation with strangers. I wish i was. i want to be that creep on the train that will talk about his bullcrap life like how he's saving up for a new monte carlo because he wrecked his last august coming home from his friend tony's housewarming party where he met this girl tina, and tried to impress her by driving like a retard and slid into a telepohne pole and broke tinas nose and she hasnt called since, but he thinks that if he gets a new car that she'd suddenly be interested again. Nobody could ever care less about this guys stupid life, but atleast he tries you know? i dont get past a hi, how are you.

Today I saw Paul Wagner the news anchor at the bayfront and considered pushing him in the water for not giving derek an autograph when he was 12.

And i decided to not wear shoes as much as possible.

And i also decided to write an autobiography called Neon Sex Wolf.

Jungle Beatz

Day 1: Apocolypse Training

Well, today i start the fascinating life of a blogger. blogger is a disgusting word to me. not that there is anything wrong with writing blogs, its just that the word sounds like something dirty. like doo doo, or swamp water. but either way, im joining the ranks as a blog-ist.

Not with much consolation, thats like saying i just got a new LG chocolate phone. Its cool and new to you, but in reality nobody could care less, and that phone is actually kind of gay. But you still feel some sort of significance from it. The significant feeling im getting from starting a blog hovers in the range of being the first in line for High School Musical 3, and being the only kid at school with a gold foil Liferuiner shirt. If you get my drift.

I honestly dont know (or really care) what I will write in the blog. I spend alot of my time thinking about the most unbelievably dumb things, so I think I will let ya'll know those things, and hopefully take time away from you doing something productive. If you find this waste of time worth your precious time, then please stay tuned. If not... you suck faggot. with all due respect.


Congratulations on reading this far
-Tyler